A famous politician once said (paraphrased)
”This morning, I woke up in the middle of the night. At 4 a.m. It was dark outside.”
Matchimaking in the graveyard Shift
Now, I assume that you, along with many other readers, aren’t interested in knowing the reason behind my early morning (4 AM!) canine walking ritual, known as Brahma Muhurta. However, I’ll explain it anyway.
Last night, from around 11 PM to 3 AM, I found myself playing the role of a call center representative for matchmaking. It was my contribution to Bangalore’s reputation as the back office of the world. The “groom” or prospective partner resided in Vancouver, Canada, while the girl lived in Singapore. His parents were in Pune, and hers were in Mumbai.
You may wonder why I was involved in this matchmaking scenario. Well, the girl prospect happens to be related to Mrs. Enough said. Additionally, I had some connections on the guy’s side of the family, which I’ll delve into later.
Due to the trans formative experience I had, something they don’t teach you in any business school or communication class, I needed a break from my usual 5 AM walk with Buddy during the summer. So, I shifted it to 4 AM. Physical exercise might be a bit early at that hour (apologies to my neighbor who runs from 4:30 AM to 5:30 AM daily), but my mind needed some exercise.
I usually walk Buddy at 5 AM in summer. But after the above life changing experience, one that they don’t teach in any B School or communication classes, I needed a break. 4 AM might be too early for physical exercise (even for my neighbor who runs from 4:30 am-5:30 am daily) … but… my mind indeed needed some working out.
LinkedIn for Matchmaking
Ever used a LinkedIn profile for matchmaking? Well, I did this morning. The guy’s side wanted to see the girl’s profile, but the girl’s side wanted to wait until horoscopes were matched, and so on. Explaining that incident alone would require an entire chapter, if not a whole book. To simplify matters, I sent the girl’s LinkedIn profile as a strawman/placeholder.
Remember BATNA? This was like BATNA in real life. In the end, both parties were satisfied, and the discussions ended amicably. The way forward became clear.
There’s nothing better than ending a call with everyone smiling. However, the frowns might return once the marriage is finalized.
Matchmaking a hidden motive: getting Wedding invitations
Long story short, maybe I want to become a matchmaker so that I get invited to weddings.
Now, to be honest, maybe I want to become a matchmaker just to increase my chances of receiving wedding invitations. Lately, I haven’t been getting invited to weddings, even though I’m not the archetypal obnoxious, loud, drunk uncle that everyone dreads having around. I don’t make long, boring speeches. Okay, perhaps I can be obnoxious and loud, but I’m no longer drunk. Or at least not drunk enough. Let’s leave it at that.
In the previous case, my involvement was pro bono. There were no hidden motives. The prospective groom’s grandparents had helped our family in the past during “interesting” times. You know, those moments when life reveals who your true well-wishers are.
Wedding invitations: The Shani Vakra Drushti factor
Speaking of wedding invitations, my track record over the past 30 months has been abysmal:
a. Cousin A sent an invitation and then uninvited us. The wedding was conveniently located just 5 kilometers away from our home. It involved an NRI bride and groom and a cousin from Central India. The wedding party stayed at the Taj West End for a weekend, but at least they didn’t stay at our place despite the “unvite.”
b. Another acquaintance didn’t even inform us when her daughter got married last September. She used to be part of our close family, but maybe not anymore. The wedding was in the US, so attending would have been unlikely anyway.
c. A professional acquaintance called on December 15 and said, “Block January 30. My son is getting married.” The wedding was again in Bangalore. However, the follow-up call or invitation never came. January 30, 2023, has come and gone. Either I assumed incorrectly that he meant January 20, 2023, or something else happened. The couple actually met on Bumble, so that might have played a role. Whatever the case, I wish the young couple, or ex-couple, all the best.
d. Last month, another acquaintance called several times on a Thursday afternoon. I was in the middle of a recording session for gaathastory. Fearing the worst, I paused the recording and called back. I was invited to a marriage reception that Saturday. The event took place in Pune, and of course, the wedding had been planned months in advance.
Inviting me was probably an afterthought or an item to check off the list. Maybe the host wanted to sleep peacefully, knowing, “I did my job of inviting him. If he doesn’t come, it’s not my fault.”
The saga continues
With such a track record, I was really looking forward to a wedding in Vadodara scheduled for later this year. The groom, who lives in the UK, was originally supposed to marry a girl from Bhopal in June. However, he ended up agreeing to marry an Amdavadi Gurjar Sundari in April. Fortunately, we received the invitation two weeks in advance before airfares skyrocketed. Since it’s from my wife’s side of the family, we had to attend.
But wait a minute—Gujarat is a dry state. Middle of April means scorching 42-degree Celsius heat. I’m not the drunk uncle, and there’s no beer. So why me?”
The saga continues …
Above post was inspired by real life events. Some details changed to ruffle fewer feathers. For any comments or feedback, write to: (e: contact@ amarvyas.com )